Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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