My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am one with the molecules
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
