Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
