He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
