Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
