A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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