I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
