I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
