Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
