marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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