Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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