Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
