just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
