it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
