I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
