one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
