Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
