I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
