Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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