fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
