I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
