he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
