apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
