Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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