i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
