Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
