i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
