What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
