So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
