I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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