Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
