Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
