With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
