I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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