we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
