He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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