Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
