Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
