yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he was CRYING into my vagina
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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