Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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