She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize