Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
