Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
