Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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