Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
