anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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