Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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