GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
