yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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