I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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