saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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