I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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