Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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