they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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