I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize