I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's the barista slut.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
