well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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