just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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