He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
