Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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