New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
