so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What a dumb baby whore.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
