I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
