If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
