Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
