That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
