whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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