He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
