We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i came on her dog
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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