I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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