What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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We talked him into tasing himself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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