i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
