kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
